Jan 17 2009
The Tenth Doctor: Really Gone
Doctor Who fans have been slighted again!
This is a first for the Oh Bitch You Are/Is Obituaries, because, at least as far as television is concerned, the tenth doctor really is dead! For real!
True obituary time.
Goddamnit, but Tennant was good. So what the hell? Where’s he going now? I don’t get it. First, Chris Ecclestone says he doesn’t want to be typecast and disappears out the door like the lousy thespian that he is. Then, Pierce Brosnan prices himself out of the Bond role. Now, Tennant says he loves playing the Doctor, but he’s leaving!
What the hell is going on? Don’t these people know when they’re onto a good thing? I’ll tell you what, if someone asked me to play The Doctor, I would never, ever relinquish the role. I’d be like Tom Baker and do it for fourteen years. Actually, I’d do it until my liver packed up, which might not be another fourteen years away, but hell, I’d definitely hang onto that prestigious, generation-spanning, memorable role for as long as I possibly could.
Baker, of course, who really did stick with it, actually suffered properly with typecasting. He once said in an interview: “I’d go for minor roles, and the Director would say, for example, ‘That’s not a policeman, that’s Doctor Who.’”
Still, he was bloody consummate. No one served the role better, or for longer. Fourteen years! When will there be another ultimate Doctor, someone who fills, suits, and cherishes the role enough to develop that crazy inter-galactic, inter-temporal weaponless ass-kicking character for another decade and a half?
Not soon, I’d guess, so it is left to me, and legions of Doctor Who fans, to commemorate the passing of yet another superb face - that of the tenth Doctor.
This is what David Tennant reportedly told the BBC (probably for Doctor Who Confidential, I’m not sure) (You don’t get hard-hitting reports like this right alongside personal honesty from anyone else, eh?):
“I love this part, and I love this show so much that if I don’t take a deep breath and move on now I never will, and you’ll be wheeling me out of the Tardis in my bath chair. I’ll miss it.”
So, what’s your point? Get in that bath chair and do some acting, you maggot!
“I think it’s better to go when there’s a chance that people might miss you, rather than to hang around and outstay your welcome.”
Yeah, okay, so you’re the sexiest Doctor Who we’ve ever had, and you’ve helped to take the show to whole new levels along with an astounding production team and pretty much the best screen writers in the business. Where’s the feckin’ problem!? You’re bustin’ my flaps, Tennant, you’re bustin my flaps…
“It’s just so much fun, such a great show to work on. That’s one of the reasons I think it’s right to take a deep breath and bow out when it’s still fun, when it’s a novelty.”
I’m going to cry. These are the worst reasons I’ve ever heard. If my life, nay, if my job, were this much fun, and so amazingly good… I’D NEVER LEAVE! You got that, Tennant? I’d never, ever, leave! You’re killing me! Spare a thought! You’re Scottish, for crissake, doesn’t a decent contract mean anything to you! A goldmine in the hand is worth millions of them that are out of reach! Let’s face it, you’re probably a bit typecast already. There’ll be no more episodes of Blackpool, for example, where you get to play a cynical, rough talking cop. Oh, no…
“I don’t ever want it to feel like a job, so I want to move on when it still feels exciting and fresh and that means I’ll miss it.”
Let me get this straight: you want to move on because it is fresh and exciting?
Hang on, when was the last time anyone else felt that their job was so fresh, and so exciting that they just had to leave!?? I don’t pop into the local bank and have the cashier say, “Damn, this is exciting, I love coming here every day, but I’m going to stage a fantastic walkout this afternoon, because it’s so damn good, I can’t stand it!”
It’s cliche, but: W/T/F!??? What, the hell, are you talking about, man? Jesus H Palomina! You’re doing me bad, you’re doing me bad, that’s all I’ve got to say on the matter. I’m not talking to you anymore. It’s over.
It really is over.
The Tenth Doctor is officially finished.
What have Doctor Who fans got to look forward to now?
Matt Smith.
Matt bloody Smith.
Come on, son, bring it on. The others have left while we were all wildly excited about them. Which means you’re going to come as a disappointment to us all. Just like Ecclestone and Tennant wanted, you aint’ going to be good enough, no matter what you do.
Let’s have a big, warm, Oh Bitch! welcome for Matt Smith.
yey.
Oh Bitch You Are/EEEE for the tenth Doctor:
Seriously missed.
Even though the repeats on UKGold are already starting to look dated.
Now get lost, there are better things on telly anyway. Like watching the eleventh Doctor make a mess of things.
Have a picture of Matt bloody Smith while I grieve…
And the funny side of Tennant and Catherine Tate, just to finish up:
